Edmund’s feelings were for the other... Edmund’s feelings were for the other twoHis
father had never conferred a favour or shewn a kindness more to his
satisfaction
Lady Bertram was perfectly quiescent and contented, and had no
objections to makeSir Thomas engaged for its giving her very little
trouble; and she assured him “that she was not at all afraid of the
trouble; indeed, she could not imagine there would be anyNorris was ready with her suggestions as to the rooms he
would think fittest to be used, but found it all prearranged; and
when she would have conjectured and hinted about the day, it appeared
that the day was settled tooSir Thomas had been amusing
himself with shaping a very complete outline of the business; and as
soon as she would listen quietly, could read his list of the families to
be invited, from whom he calculated, with all necessary allowance
for the shortness of the notice, to collect young people enough to
form twelve or fourteen couple: and could detail the considerations
which had induced him to fix on the 22nd as the most eligible day
William was required to be at Portsmouth on the 24th; the 22nd
would therefore be the last day of his visit; but where the days were
so few it would be unwise to fix on any earlierNorris was
obliged to be satisfied with thinking just the same, and with having
been on the point of proposing the 22nd herself, as by far the best
day for the purpose
The ball was now a settled thing, and before the evening a proclaimed
thing to all whom it concernedInvitations were sent with
despatch, and many a young lady went to bed that night with her
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head full of happy cares as well as FannyTo her the cares were
sometimes almost beyond the happiness; for young and inexperienced,
with small means of choice and no confidence in her own
taste, the “how she should be dressed” was a point of painful solicitude;
and the almost solitary ornament in her possession, a very
pretty amber cross which William had brought her from
gucci book bags Sicily, was
the greatest distress of all, for she had nothing but a bit of ribbon to
fasten it to; and though she had worn it in that manner once, would
it be allowable at such a time in the midst of all the rich ornaments
which she supposed all the other young ladies would appear in?
And yet not to wear it! William had wanted to buy her a gold chain
too, but the purchase had been beyond his means, and therefore
not to wear the cross might be mortifying himThese were anxious
considerations; enough to sober her spirits even under the prospect
of a ball given principally for her gratification
The preparations meanwhile went on, and Lady Bertram continued
to sit on her sofa without any inconvenience from themShe
had some extra visits from the housekeeper, and her maid was rather
hurried in making up a new dress for her: Sir Thomas gave orders,
and MrsNorris ran about; but all this gave her no trouble, and as
she had foreseen, “there was, in fact, no trouble in the business
Edmund was at this time particularly full of cares: his mind being
deeply occupied in the consideration of two important events now
at hand, which were to fix his fate in life—ordination and matrimony—
events of such a serious character as to make the ball, which
would be very quickly followed by one of them, appear of less moment
in his eyes than in those of any other person in the houseOn
the 23rd he was going to a friend near Peterborough, in the same
situation as himself, and they were to receive ordination in the course
of the Christmas weekHalf his destiny would then be determined,
but the other half might not be so very smoothly wooedHis duties
would be established, but the wife who was to share, and animate,
and reward those duties, might yet be unattainableHe knew his
own mind, but he was not always perfectly assured of knowing Miss
Crawford’sThere were points on which they did not quite agree;
there were moments in which she did not seem propitious; and
though
coco chanel handbags trusting altogether to her affection, so far as to be resolved—
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almost resolved—on bringing it to a decision within a very short
time, as soon as the variety of business before him were arranged,
and he knew what he had to offer her, he had many anxious feelings,
many doubting hours as to the resultHis conviction of her
regard for him was sometimes very strong; he could look back on a
long course of encouragement, and she was as perfect in disinterested
attachment as in everything elseBut at other times doubt and
alarm intermingled with his hopes; and when he thought of her
acknowledged disinclination for privacy and retirement, her decided
preference of a London life, what could he expect but a determined
rejection? unless it were an acceptance even more to be deprecated,
demanding such sacrifices of situation and employment on his side
as conscience must forbid
The issue of all depended on one questionDid she love him well
enough to forego what had used to be essential points? Did she love
him well enough to make them no longer essential? And this question,
which he was continually repeating to himself, though oftenest
answered with a “Yes,” had sometimes its “No
Miss Crawford was soon to leave Mansfield, and on this circumstance
the “no” and the “yes” had been very recently in alternation
He had seen her eyes sparkle as she spoke of the dear friend’s letter,
which claimed a long visit from her in London, and of the kindness
of Henry, in engaging to remain where he was till January, that he
might convey her thither; he had heard her speak of the pleasure of
such a journey with an animation which had “no” in every tone
But this had occurred on the first day of its being settled, within the
first hour of the burst of such enjoyment, when nothing but the
friends she was to visit was before herHe had since heard her express
herself differently, with other feelings, more chequered feelings:
he had heard her tell MrsGrant
chanel quilted handbag that she should leave her with
regret; that she began to believe neither the friends nor the pleasures
she was going to were worth those she left behind; and that though
she felt she must go, and knew she should enjoy herself when once
away, she was already looking forward to being at Mansfield again
Was there not a “yes” in all this?
With such matters to ponder over, and arrange, and re-arrange,
Edmund could not, on his own account, think very much of the
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evening which the rest of the family were looking forward to with a
more equal degree of strong interestIndependent of his two cousins’
enjoyment in it, the evening was to him of no higher value than
any other appointed meeting of the two families might beIn every
meeting there was a hope of receiving farther confirmation of Miss
Crawford’s attachment; but the whirl of a ballroom, perhaps, was
not particularly favourable to the excitement or expression of serious
feelingsTo engage her early for the two first dances was all the
command of individual happiness which he felt in his power, and
the only preparation for the ball which he could enter into, in spite
of all that was passing around him on the subject, from morning till
night
Thursday was the day of the ball; and on Wednesday morning
Fanny, still unable to satisfy herself as to what she ought to wear,
determined to seek the counsel of the more enlightened, and apply
to MrsGrant and her sister, whose acknowledged taste would certainly
bear her blameless; and as Edmund and William were gone
to Northampton, and she had reason to think MrCrawford likewise
out, she walked down to the Parsonage without much fear of
wanting an opportunity for private discussion; and the privacy of
such a discussion was a most important part of it to Fanny, being
more than half-ashamed of her own solicitude
She met Miss Crawford within a few yards of the Parsonage, just
setting out to call on her, and as it seemed to her that her
seamaster de ville friend,
though obliged to insist on turning back, was unwilling to lose her
walk, she explained her business at once, and observed, that if she
would be so kind as to give her opinion, it might be all talked over
as well without doors as withinMiss Crawford appeared gratified
by the application, and after a moment’s thought, urged Fanny’s
returning with her in a much more cordial manner than before, and
proposed their going up into her room, where they might have a
comfortable coze, without disturbing DrGrant, who were
together in the drawing-roomIt was just the plan to suit Fanny;
and with a great deal of gratitude on her side for such ready and
kind attention, they proceeded indoors, and upstairs, and were soon
deep in the interesting subjectMiss Crawford, pleased with the
appeal, gave her all her best judgment and taste, made everything
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Jane Austen
easy by her suggestions, and tried to make everything agreeable by
her encouragementThe dress being settled in all its grander parts—
”But what shall you have by way of necklace?” said Miss Crawford
“Shall not you wear your brother’s cross?” And as she spoke she was
undoing a small parcel, which Fanny had observed in her hand when
they metFanny acknowledged her wishes and doubts on this point:
she did not know how either to wear the cross, or to refrain from
wearing itShe was answered by having a small trinket-box placed
before her, and being requested to chuse from among several gold
chains and necklacesSuch had been the parcel with which Miss
Crawford was provided, and such the object of her intended visit:
and in the kindest manner she now urged Fanny’s taking one for the
cross and to keep for her sake, saying everything she could think of to
obviate the scruples which were making Fanny start back at first with
a look of horror at the proposal
“You see what a collection I have,” said she; “more by half than I
ever use or think ofI do not offer them as newI offer nothing but
an old
balenciaga bag black necklac